I never thought that I would be sitting down to write a blog about c-section awareness. Since my other 2 pregnancies went fairly easily, I just assumed that's how my 3rd would be. Boy was I wrong, but if you want to know more about that you'll have to read Violet's Birth Story.
The purpose of this blog was to answer some of your questions about a c-section and to bring awareness to them. It isn't something that I knew anything about before actually having one myself. I felt so grateful for all the amazing women who helped answer all of my questions leading up to it. So my hope is that by reading this blog it will help you prepare for a c-section yourself or help a friend, spouse, daughter or loved one get through one. I am going to break this down by the questions you asked me to answer and I will throw in my own information throughout! If you have any more questions please do not hesitate to reach out. Keep in mind when reading my responses that this is my experience. And no 2 experiences will be exactly alike.
What were my thoughts & feelings during the preparation and experience? The worst part for me was probably the waiting. Mine was a scheduled c-section which I am thankful for because it gave me time to prepare and wrap my head around it all. But that also means that you may be scheduled to go in at 10:30 am but get bumped because an emergency comes in. Which I am 100% okay with because I would rather someone who needs the spot more than me go first. But for me, the waiting and having more time to worry and stress wasn't easy. It also wasn't comfortable having to stay in the small triage bay (we were not in a room) and wait. Thankfully Chris was with me the entire time leading up to the procedure so I had him to distract me and my parents would switch out to come see me and chat. For me the biggest stressor was knowing I would be awake during the procedure and the fear of the unknown. My thoughts and feelings during the procedure are a blur. What I remember focusing on was that I was going to meet Violet very soon. I just kept repeating that in my head and reminding myself that this is what I need to do for her to come into this world safely. It was tough to say goodbye to Chris while they prepped me for the procedure. He was my rock during my deliveries with Mason and Lily and knowing I wouldn't have him during the spinal was scary. When I walked into the procedure room it took my breath away. There were lots of people all dressed in masks and gowns, it was cold, and what I would describe as very sterile. I reminded myself that there was lots of extra equipment that probably wasn't meant for me but there in case of emergencies, everyone was dressed in gowns and masks to protect Violet and I and that as soon as I saw her my heart would explode and warm my body back up. I remember feeling very nausea, but once they gave me medication to help with that it disappeared quickly. Chris was by my side and I was okay again. It all happened quickly. I heard Voilet's cry and then seconds later she pepped at me over the drape. I wanted to jump off the table and grab her but obviously my body wouldn't let me LOL! And just like vaginal delivery you forget about all the hard stuff that has happened.
The Procedure
Keep in mind that mine was a schedule c-section so the procedure may look differently for an emergency. But here is step by step what happened. From the time we walked to the procedure room to the time we got in recovery I would say it took 45 minutes total.
Put into a triage room and asked to take all clothing off and put on a gown
I was asked 100 questions then hooked up to an IV
Had ultrasound to confirm Violet was still breech
Wait, wait and more waiting for procedure time
Once it was time for the procedure
Chris changed into scrubs (tip: ask for spouse or support person to wear the gown so they can do skin to skin with baby)
We walked down to the procedure room together
Gave Chris a kiss goodbye as he was not allowed to be present during the preparation
Entered room and they did a procedural pause (made sure everyone was present that needed to be, all equipment was ready and no questions)
Had spinal sedation (felt very similar to epidural, maybe a bit less uncomfortable)
Immediately was laid down on the table, freezing happened instantly (tip: remember you won't feel pain but you will feel movement and that is 100% normal! I would describe it as someone washing dishes inside your tummy)
OB confirmed that I didn't feel any pain and then the procedure started immediately
Chris was brought into the room after they had already started to cut me open (which I was pretty upset about as I thought he would be beside me before that happened. Thankfully he isn't easily nauseated by seeing something like that because if a spouse would be freaked out by seeing wife cut open it is something they should be warned about!)
Once Violet was born, they held her up over the draping and then took her to the warmer immediately
Chris went with Violet to the warmer and was with her during her checkup, I could not see any of this
The OB tied my tubes and then proceeded to close me up. During this Chris and Violet returned to my side. Violet was placed inside Chris gown skin to skin with him. I could move my arms and touch her but I was not able to hold her. (keep in mind I was told that sometimes they allow mothers to be skin to skin with babe immediately where they will wrap the babe around your neck/upper chest area. However, with COVID restrictions I was told this wasn't allowed so Violet went skin to skin with Chris as soon as it was possible)
Once I was closed up Chris left the room and waited for us in recovery. Violet was placed back on the warmer until I was transferred to a bed and then she was placed in my arms for the 1st time.
I was taken to recovery for an hour where Chris was with us as well as my midwife and nurse. There I breastfed Violet and snuggled her skin to skin. We were then moved to a room on the maternity unit.
How was your husband involved?
Chris was with me the entire time except for when they prepared me in the procedure room. He had to wait just outside the doors for that part to be complete. During the c-section he was right beside my head keeping me distracted and calm. He could hold my hand and touch my arms/face. Once Violet was born he went with her to the warmer while they weighed and checked her. Chris was also able to cut part of her cord as the OB left a length attached to Violet so he could still do that. He was with her the entire time and came back beside me with her and snuggled her skin to skin while the OB finished up. It was pretty special that he was able to be the person to hold her skin to skin first! Once it was time for them to move me to a bed Chris had to leave the room and waited for us in recovery. He was there to help me breastfeed Violet and make sure the two of us were okay.
Once we were on the maternity unit and then home was when Chris was really involved in my recovery. He helped pull me up out of bed, lift Violet into my arms and eventually Lily and Mason up beside me because I couldn't lift them. I was able to lift Violet but it was easier at first for him to pass her to me. Even though I started to feel like I could pull myself up out of bed when we got home, it was important for me to remember I needed Chris' help still so my incision could heal. I think that was the hardest part for me was remembering that yes I could do things, but it wasn't safe or wise to do it because my body still needed some time to heal. With that being said though getting up and moving around is the best thing you can do, but in moderation. I found laying in bed was actually more uncomfortable. Instead sitting on the couch or in a chair was better for me.
How was your midwife involved?
The midwife was mostly involved with Violet when we were in the hospital as I was still under the care of the OB until we were discharged. However she was present during the c-section and very supportive. She arrived about 30 minutes before the procedure to make sure that we had no questions, were comfortable and that our wishes were advocated to the medical team (i.e. Chris doing skin to skin and then saving part of the cord for him to cut). She supported me during the spinal, helped remind me to breath during the procedure and was there if I had any questions. Once Violet was born she did all her checks and helped facilitate skin to skin with Chris. She stayed with us until we left the recovery area. She helped me get comfortable with breastfeeding and continued to do all Violet's checks. She came back to the hospital the next day to do the remainder of Violet's newborn screening and to check in on both of us. Then our care continued at home and once I was discharged from the hospital I was back under the care of the midwifery team.
Probably the best part about having a midwife during the c-section experience was having the home support afterwards. I didn't have to leave the house for checkups until week 4. So that was definitely helpful in my healing process having the extra support at home from my midwife.
What did they do with Violet right away? Violet was shown to Chris and I over the draping as soon as she was born. She was then taken the warmer for her checkup just like a vaginal delivery. Once that was complete, she was brought right back to my side with Chris and placed skin to skin with him. Once I was transferred to a bed she was placed in my arms for the 1st time.
How did it feel after the procedure?
I didn't start to feeling anything until the freezing came out which probably took about 3 hours. I had the shakes really bad after the procedure. It started really mild but after about an hour the tremors were bad but that is a normal part of the freezing from the spinal wearing off. That was probably the worst part for me. Not being able to control that feeling and just having to wait for it to wear off was not fun!
I felt very uncomfortable at first and then the pain started. I was taking regular Tylenol for the pain and it wasn't until the middle of the night that I requested something stronger because the pain was getting bad. It was unbearable but I couldn't sleep and I knew that if I didn't stay on top of the pain that it was only going to get worse. (Tip: take you pain medication as directed! staying on top of the pain is so important even if you feel you are't in pain and don't need the meds, keep taking them at least for a few days). Was it excruciating pain? No. On a scale of 1-10 I would say the highest I got was an 8. It was just extremely uncomfortable. I couldn't pull myself up in the bed because it felt like I had no stomach strength. Chris had to help me move around a lot until I got my bearings. The best thing I did was get up and walking as soon as I could. Even if it was just to the bathroom starting to move and straighten my body out felt good and got the healing process moving.
Top c-section recovery items
Here is a list of what I would recommend
mesh underwear. I wore Bump & Bae Magic Underwear they were worth the money! So comfortable and more supportive than the ones you get in the hospital. I wore these for probably 2 weeks postpartum. If you want to wear normal underwear I would recommend something high waisted as you don't want anything sitting near your incision to irritate it.
pillows - you will want lots of supportive pillows to help you get comfortable. It is also helpful to hug a pillow when you sneeze or cough as that will be uncomfortable and sometimes painful for a while. I found hugging the pillow to take off the edge. A breastfeeding pillow is also helpful in getting yourself comfortable while feeding babe.
Tylenol and Advil for pain management
Stool softener - just like after a vaginal birth pooping is not easy and can be painful.
Pads! Yes you still bleed postpartum like you do with a vaginal birth
loose clothing - I would recommend nothing with a waist band that is tight. I wore pajamas, night gowns, rompers, and baggy track pants. Anything that isn't restricting and again high waist was best for me.
LOTS OF HELP! If your partner is able to take time off of work to help you let them. You will need help for at least a couple of days, longer if you have the support. In my opinion the more help you have the quicker you will heal. Whether its your spouse, family or friends accept the help. This was difficult for me but once I realized I needed it, I felt and recovered better.
Was a c-section your choice? No it was not my choice. We had to have a c-section because Violet was breech. They tried an ECV procedure to flip her (click here if you want to read more about that) but it did not work. Having a c-section was the safest way for her to be delivered. I did not have a c-section with either Lily or Mason.
Was it harder or easier than your vaginal deliveries? I get asked this a lot, or people ask would you choose a c-section or vaginal delivery knowing what you do now. I will be honest, I would choose a vaginal delivery over a c-section. My vaginal deliveries, especially Masons were pretty good. That doesn't mean that Violet's would have went the same way but I would have risked that if I had the choice.
The reason I would choose the vaginal delivery is the recovery. The procedure itself was easy and quick compared to a vaginal birth. No contractions, no water breaking, no pushing etc. But the recovery was difficult. With my vaginal births I recovered quickly and was up moving immediately. Especially with Mason, I didn't even feel like I gave birth. The c-section it was tough on my body and still is a month later. I wasn't able to lift my 2 older children, I couldn't do much for myself or my family for a while and it was painful and extremely uncomfortable. I didn't experience any of that with my vaginal deliveries. I also found it more difficult mentally. I stressed more about the c-section procedure and it was hard mentally after the procedure.
So in my opinion, it was harder than my vaginal deliveries.
Thank you for reading along! I hope you remember that this was just my experience. What I found helpful was chatting with lots of other moms that went through this to get their experiences too. What I can tell you is that it wasn't near as bad as what I had imagined in my head! Please let me know if you have any more questions or want to chat :)
