Who would have thought one of the unluckiest days in the year would become one of the luckiest days of our life! Violet was born on March 13, 2020. I'll never forget the day that the OB asked me if I was superstitious. I thought it was an odd question but then realized it was because he wanted to schedule my c-section for Friday the 13th. I laughed, thinking of the time my dad and I went to Port Dover for Friday the 13th and how much fun I had. To me it sounded like the perfect day to have our baby girl. It is bitter sweet writing Violet's birth story. I am so excited to share with all of you, but I find myself extremely emotional sitting down to write this for two reasons;
1. Violet's birth did not go exactly how I had originally pictured it and it was very difficult for me to wrap my head around that.
2. Violet is our last baby and while I know that I do not want any more children, the thought that this is our last of everything with her is still hard.
When I envisioned how Violet's birth would go it sure wasn't the following;
1. a c-section
2. during a pandemic
3. that my midwife wasn't going to deliver my baby
I was really looking forward to what I had pictured in my head. my water would break or contractions would start Chris & I would go to the hospital labour would progress, the amazing moment I would get the epidural would happen it would just be me, Chris and my midwife Violet would be born vaginally our daughter would be placed on my chest immediately and I would be the 1st to hold her we would go home the same day
That's basically how I pictured it all happening in my head. But none of that happened and when I found out none of that was going to happen it took me a while to really wrap my head around it. Let me start by saying there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a c-section. I knew in my heart that I would do whatever was best for Violet to come safely into this world and that was a c-section. I am glad that mine was a planned c-section because it gave me time to prepare and wrap my head around everything, which is really important for me and my coping style. We were able to prepare Lily and Mason better because we knew exactly when we were going to the hospital and would be leaving them, I had lots of time to pack our bags and get everything organized & I was able to check everything off my list I needed to before Violet came. So yes, there were benefits to having a c-section.
But it was odd, waking up on Friday the 13th at 6:00am knowing that in 1 hour I would be walking into the hospital to be prepared to have our daughter. There would be no contractions or water breaking (and yes that is a benefit!). When we arrived at the hospital we were checked in, put in a bay in the triage area and that is where we waited until it was time for us to go for the c-section. And we waited a long time. Chris was with me the entire time and when my parents arrived they were allowed to come back and see me one at a time before the c-section happened. Our procedure time ended up getting bumped because an emergency came in. So while we waited we talked, watched videos on our phone, shared some memes and kept in touch with our family and kids. While we were waiting I was hooked up to an IV and they did an ultrasound to make sure that Violet didn't flip last minute. My midwife arrived about 30 minutes before it was time for us to go to the procedure room. In that 30 minutes before I was given some antibiotics and nausea medicine, Chris changed into his scrubs, and my nerves went through the roof. It wall becoming very real, very fast. After everything was prepared, Chris, myself, our midwife and 1 nurse all walked down to the procedure room. This for me was the weirdest part. The walk felt like an eternity. I was excited because I knew within 30 minutes I was going to meet you but so nervous for what this experience was going to be like. The hardest part for me was walking into the procedure room. I had to say good bye to Chris while they prepared me for the c-section. The only thing that kept me from falling apart was knowing that I was going to see Violet's beautiful face very soon. The operating room was cold, full of equipment, and a lot of people. There were additional nurses, residents and eventually my OB and anesthesiologist joined in. They asked me a lot of questions and reviewed my chart. The operating table was small, uncomfortable and cold. I had to sit on the edge of the table while my nurse held me during the spinal. All I wanted was for Chris to be there holding me because he was my person for my epidurals with Lily and Mason. Once the spinal was in everything happened VERY QUICKLY! They laid me back on the table, my legs and lower extremities immediately went numb and tingly. My body felt like it weighed 1000 pounds. The weirdest part, which thankfully they warned me about, was that I was going to feel movement but no pain. It felt like someone was washing dishes inside of me. Then all of sudden Chris was in the room with me, sitting right beside my head. And within seconds we were hearing Violet cry for the 1st time. I was SHOCKED. I had no idea they had cut me open and that they were delivering her. Then tears filled my eyes as I got to see our baby girl for the first time. But just as fast as I seen her she was taken away to the warmer by our midwife. My heart dropped, I couldn't see what was happening, I had no idea if she was okay, and I missed her like crazy. My sweet girl who I held so close to me for 9 months felt light years away. Thankfully I knew her daddy was right there with her and within 10 minutes they were both back at my side. She was the best distraction while they tied my tubes and stitched me back up. I couldn't take my eyes off her. She was wrapped up nice and warm on daddy's chest.
After a few minutes together, Chris was asked to leave the room and they transferred me to a hospital bed. Then Violet was placed in my arms and I got to hold my baby girl for the 1st time. It felt like forever because the moment I saw her I yearned for her to be in my arms. We were taken to the recovery area where we were reunited with Chris. We were probably apart for less than 10 minutes. My nurse and midwife were with us. We had regular checks just like you would with a vaginal delivery. I tried breastfeeding immediately and was skin to skin with Violet the entire time. After being in recovery for about 30 minutes we were transferred to the maternity unit and that is when our family could come see us.
From start to finish (the moment I walked into the procedure room till I was taken to the maternity unit) it probably took an hour. It was VERY fast and VERY surreal.
Thankfully none of the COVID-19 restrictions were in place when we had Violet so our family was allowed to visit but we were warned that they were talking about limiting visitors that evening. So my parents, brother, Chris parents and Lily and Mason came to the hospital to visit us. Everyone was so excited to meet our sweet girl. That evening was when they limited visitors to 1 person at a time, and in less than 24 hours they changed it to only your support person was allowed to be with you.
I was told I would probably be in the hospital for at least 48 hours as long as there was no complications. Thankfully we were discharged within 24 hours. I think part of the early release was because of COVID-19, this wasn't my first pregnancy, I was tolerating the c-section well and I was insistent on going home!
While Violet's birth story maybe wasn't the way that I had envisioned it. It is one of the most beautiful stories because it is ours. While it wasn't the most personal experience and I did feel like I was a bit robbed of that emotional experience like I had with Lily and Mason I wouldn't change it for the world. Why? Because it is the way that Violet wanted to entire the world and nothing changes the love that I have for her. Next week I will go more in depth on the c-section experience and answer all the questions you've had for me on Instagram! If there is something specific you want to know about c-sections (recovery, Chris' role, midwife's role etc.) let me know in the comments below or send me an email and I will answer them next week on the blog! Let me know your experience with c-section delivery below. Whether you had a vaginal or c-section birth did it go as you'd envisioned it?
